To Love and To Possess

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Apalah arti cinta,                                                     What's the meaning of loving you,

bila aku tak bisa memilikimu.                                  if I couldn't have you.

Apalah arti cinta,                                                     What's the meaning of loving you,

bila pada akhirnya takkan menyatu.                         if in the end we couldn't become one
 

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Sesulit inikah jalan takdirku                                    Does my fate have to be this hard
Yang tak inginkan kita bahagia                               that it won't allow us to be happy?

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Bila aku tak berujung denganmu,                            If I couldn't be with you in the end,
biarkan kisah ini kukenang selamanya.                  let me have this memory forever.
Tuhan, tolong buang rasa cintaku,                          God, please take away my love for him

jika tak Kau ijinkan aku bersamanya.                     if You don't mean us to be as one.

Back to * ** ***

Inilah saatnya aku harus melepaskan dirimu              This is the time for me to let you go....

Tuhan, tolong buang rasa cintaku                                  God, please take away my love for him
Jika tak Kau ijinkan aku bersamanya.                   if You don't mean us to be as one....

This is an Indonesian love song, performed by SHE, a new female band. Actually, I like the song very much, although I don't agree with the lyric 100%...hehehe....

Each time I hear this song, I remember one nice quote I got from an Indonesian movie called "AYAT-AYAT CINTA" (Verses of Love). No, I don't like the story of that movie. I had to watch the DVD, because I wanted to give it as a present for a friend and I had to check whether the English subtitle run smoothly. Anyway, I got this nice quote:

to love and to possess are two different things

And that's the point of my disagreement with the song above.

What's the meaning of loving someone, if you couldn't have him forever? Just that for me... That I love the person so much, enough to let him go. Hurt? Sure, 100%.....and maybe would need thousands years to heal my broken-heart, collect the pieces and move on....hehehe....*exaggerate mode: on*

And for sure I would never ask God to take away my love for the person, because of the good memories created from the feeling. The only thing I would ask from God is a tremendous strength to hold on and His comforting hands surround me while I collect any pieces left from my broken-heart. Because, indeed, to love and to possess are two different things. You could love something, but you may wouldn't have it. Many people have something, but don't love it. Yet, some people is blessed with love and have each other.

One thing I agree 100% from the song above is:

If I couldn't be with you in the end, let me have this memory forever.

Of course, all of these is only a theory...hehehe.... I may have to re-write the whole thing if the bad luck fells on top of me someday....hehehe... 

Be Careful What You Wish For

This is a title of an English novel written by Alexandra Potter, a birthday gift from a good friend of mine this year. Thank you, my friend, for remembering that I prefer to read a book using its original language....hehehe...

The book told us about a woman named Heather Hamilton who always wished for things...not just big stuff - like world peace or for a date with Brad Pitt - but little, everyday wishes, made without thinking. She thought that there was no way those little wishes of her would come true, but saying wishes relieved her upset mood in facing situations she didn't like. Until one day she bought a heather, a kind of good charm, from a gypsy woman. Suddenly the bad hair days stopped; a handsome American answered her ad for a housemate; and she started seeing James - The Perfect Man who sent her flowers, excelled in the bedroom, and wasn't afraid to say 'I love you'.... So many good luck happened on her, that of course she enjoyed it all....who wouldn't?...hehehe... But, then she started to doubt all of her good luck.....was it really what she needed? Until a bad event happened to her, that made her realized what she really wished for.....

Okay, this story is not a new thing for me. I've learnt for so long to be careful with anything I wish for. Not from my own experience, of course....hehehe.... I learnt from others' experience, from any folklores and from a movie called "BEDAZZLED". I even avoid so much making any wishes for my own advantages. I only make good wishes for friends and family, and I will wish it with all of my heart. Why don't I wish for myself? Because I worry that I couldn't handle the bad consequences from the wish. Because I hold on the theory of the balance in life. For each thing that goes up, there would be something else that has to go down. I don't want to be happy now, but broken down in the end. I don't even want to be happy on someone else's misfortune. Hmmmm....do I sound like a coward? hehehe....

Anyway, the book reminded me to carefully re-phrase a birthday wish for a friend who shared a same birthday date with me. In the end, just like in the "BEDAZZLED" movie, I just wished with all of my heart that this particular friend would be happy. Sounds a cliche, right? But its meaning is so deep.....hehehe....

And lastly, for all of my friends in this world, I wish you all a nice day.....

Where are My Saved SMS???

You may call me a romantic fool. I have this habit to save birthday wishes and special cute sms I received into my cell phone. I save the birthday wishes I got this year until new wishes arrive next year. It's kind of a good charm for me. Those wishes and the cute, nice sms could help me cheer up a little when things go down. See how foolish I am? hehehe...

This afternoon, two sms from a good friend of mine came in, waking me up from a long nap. After I read the last one, I immediately erased it before moving to the first..... And the disaster started!!! The system froze while in the process of erasing the last message. I waited for several seconds, because it had happened before many, many times. Still, the system frozen up. I pressed any buttons without any results at all. Then, I thought maybe it was because the battery was low.....so, I charged it....but nothing happened. I was so curious about the sms, that I was immediately online and chatted with my friend. Turned out that she invited me to join her friends watching THE EXPENDABLES at a cinema. After some hesitation, I finally agreed and brought along my non-functional cell phone.

On the way to the cinema, I told my friend about my phone problem. She suggested to take off the battery and put it on again. Okay, I did it....and it worked!!! My phone was functional again with a minimum battery capacity.....and more disaster following it.... I checked the data inside the phone and found out that I lost all of the sms I had received and saved. I was so devastated.....okay, I tried not to show it too much in front of my friends....hehehe....I have a cool image to maintain....hahaha... So, I tried to put my devastated mind off and decided to enjoy the movie.....hey, it's really a cool movie. It succeeded to cheer me up a little. But only for a while.....

I was alone again in my own room, recharging the battery of my cell phone, I watched my empty sms box sadly. How will I get all those precious messages again? Is it some kind of sign that I need to replace my phone. True, I had thought to buy a new one, but the consequences of losing those messages had put me off. I have no idea how to move them to a new phone.....it's not a file in the computer that one could easily burn it to a CD and move it to another place. And I still couldn't find the new model that I could accept as a better replacement than the present phone!!!! I'm a brand-minded in this kind of technology.....hiks....and the particular brand hasn't produced any new models for several years now....hiks, hiks, hiks....

Hiks, hiks, hiks.....I lost my precious momentos!!!!

I love you this much

It’s enough to be needed, it's enough to be you
Through the hopes in your happy life,
the light is slowly coming through
All that is taking is for love to show its best
And if I ever get it on with you,
then you lead the way


It’s enough to be with you, it’s enough to be there
I'm the words that you send or gave in through to me you get
Oh, what I do to come to talk with what you've got
And if it means singing back your mind,
then it never lost


#Oh, now and then I see myself for what I really am
  over here I keep discover on, then I got it in the can


But if it means that I ain’t gonna see you anymore
Take and shut up for a power,
stop to nail up all our doors
If I can be part of you, then I don’t have to leave
Cause other than the love of mine,
I’ve nothing else to give


#Oh, now and then I see myself for what I really am
  over here I keep discover on, then I got it in the can


And if one night I'm left alone with nothing else to do
I just sit at the the piano singing song that speak for you
Yes, I might get lonely and completely out of touch
But I’ll sacrifice my friends because I love you this much
I’ll just sacrifice my friends because I love you this much.....

**) This is an oldies song performed by Mouth & McNeal