The Different Way to Celebrate My Birthday

I was entering this year saddled with pain in my heart, dissapointment, not to mention a big debt in my bank account spent for a big holiday (it's quite fun, actually, the holiday! Enough to forget any pain for a moment. Mark my word...for a moment, not forever!) I had hoped that 2008 would be a bright year for me, a moment I've been waiting for so long. But at the New Year Eve party that I have ever attended for the first time in my life, I was just thankful to be able living another year and only prepared to try and live the year one day after another.

As the time goes by, I found that this year was not as dark as I was afraid of. Here and there I have seen a glimmering light. It is only small, but enough to tempt me step forward and try to reach it. Whenever it fade out before I even held it in my hand, there would be another light up close by. And I was walking forward, sometimes even didn't notice that the time went by another week and another month, especially in all of the busy affairs in preparing the wedding party for my brother on the end of July.

On March I noticed that right on my birthday, our church would be on duty to organize the Mass and 7th Novena in honour of Mother Mary at Poh Sarang - Kediri

A coincident? Maybe, but it is a very good one, in my opinion. The time was perfect, since the whole triffling matters due to my brother's wedding party would had been out of the way at that time. And I did need this to pray and ask for God's generousity to let me see a way, His way. So, I went and told Mom about my intention, and she consented at once, since she never visit the place before.

I didn't plan anything after that, just wait and see, because many times before, I made a religious plan and there had always been something on the way that made it fall through. For the time being I just concentrated in preparing the wedding of the year (according to our friends and family...hahaha....!)

At last the time came. Mom, my nephew and I joined our church group departed to Poh Sarang in 15 buses and many more followed with their own transports. According to the Pastor, there were more than 5000 persons joined in the Mass that day. They came from many cities, even there were some tourists from Japan apparently.

The funny thing...or you maybe say ironically.....every special intentions that have made me want to go and pray there had fled from my mind. After I was home again and recounted the journey, I realised that it had been gone since the day before departing. At Poh Sarang, I become a guide for Mom, directed her where to register any personal intention or special prayer in the Mass. Mom dedicated her prayer that day as a thankfullness for the smoothly wedding party of my brother and for my birthday. I, in the other hand, had forgotten my own intention to seek out and bring white roses for Mother Mary. All I did was making sure my nephew comfortable during this quite long and maybe boring journey.

Did I get any answer from God for all my restlessness and confusion? I don't think so. I asked God to this once only give me a direct birthday gift, a wish-come-true for once. But I don't see it at all. In the other hand, I felt a calm, peaceful state in facing a particular present matter. I still couldn't see any way-out from the delicate matter very close to my heart just as I wish it to end. But as it had been happened to me over and over again in the past, He would always send my guarding angel protecting me. Maybe it's true after all, that what I want all this time isn't what God plans, no matter how much I desire it. At the present, my prayer is for God to make it easier for me and people I love to finally come to terms with His plan, no matter how shocking it is.

Lesson from Harry Potter Adventures

Reading the whole series of Harry Potter Adventures, I wonder whether anyone noticed that :

1. Professor Trelawney's casual warning for Lavender Brown in their first meeting (Book 3) to watch out red-haired men proved right in the Book 6. At her sixth year, Lavender fall in love with Ronald Weasley who had very red hair and a close friend of Harry Potter. It was a brief affair, ended up in disaster with Ron finally acknowledged his real feeling toward Hermione and left Lavender broken-hearted.


2. Death Eaters who are so proud of their pure-blooded family and dismissed non-magician people and mud-blooded (magician who was born in fully non-magician family) actually worshipped and led by a half-blooded person. Lord Voldemort's mother was a pure-blooded witch, descendant of Salazar Slytherin, one of the famous wizards. But his father was non-magician. (Anyone could see the similarity with the history of Adolf Hitler and NAZI?)

Good Will and Honesty

Here is your single's love horoscope for Thursday, July 3:
Your honest desire to maintain good will among your friends is commendable,
but you can't force all them all to get along, all the time. Some people don't
mesh well and never will, and that's okay.

Another coincidence? Or is it God's whisper to soothe my agitated mind in coming to term that once again I lost a should-be-beautiful friendship to greed and deceit. Anyway, it had made me smile when read it this morning. I agreed, I couldn't force others to have a same idea like the utopian thinking of mine in offering friendship and dealing with this world. Life will always go on and I should continue to walk, never stop hoping that maybe next time I would meet another idealist, better person.

My First Award

Special thanks and very warm hugs to one of my old friends, Mbak Fida, who had just given me a SPECIAL FRIEND AWARD a few days ago. It's my first award since I started this blog, and I really, really appreciate it.....I guess I'm human after all...hehehe....craving for compliments and sweet words.

Her name is Fida, actually. The word "MBAK" in front of it is an honorary expression commonly used by Indonesian-Javanese to call an elder woman. She was my ex-colleague years ago, before she moved out to another company and finally was captured by an american citizen (hahaha...sorry, Mbak....fall in love, dehhhhhhhh!), got married and resided in USA.

She has this fabulous blog, full with beautiful stories called http://www.fidaabbott.blogspot.com/. The beautiful artistic lay-out design of her blog inspired me to keep learn and build my own blog (uh....sometimes I just grabbed her application for my own use.....hehehe....sorry again, Mbak!). She always encourage me to keep on writing and blogging. So, thanks again, Mbak! It's a great treasure to have you as my good friend!

Scammers VS Friendship

Over than a week ago, I chatted with an old friend about my latest new net-pals. Laughingly, I told her how one of them so eagerly offered to buy me a new latest computer set and send me money just so we could chat anytime and see each other through web cam. I also told her what a coincidence that the other two had to go the Africa to do their business. In fact, I had been wondering for so long whether it's really that easy for any of US Citizens (yep...those three net-pals claimed themselves as US citizens) to get a work contract abroad, especially in this case Africa, when they only own a small company. I said to my friend that maybe I should get those two together, so they could be friends there in Africa....hahaha....and maybe they could compare notes about me...hahaha....

Several days later I read about a Woman Gets Two Years for Aiding Nigerian Internet Check Scam and I wondered whether because of this I haven't been seen any of those net-pals of mine online. In fact, a day earlier when my old friend asked about them, jokingly I told her that I think they lost in Africa...hehehe....

So, it seems once again I lost another would-be-friends. But, in the other hand I sincerely hope that my bad thinking about them would be proved wrong just this once, that they aren't scammers, that they're really genuine in craving a genuine and beautiful friendship, free from any desires in getting advantage from other people. Huh, unlikely, I think! Hahaha....