I love you this much

It’s enough to be needed, it's enough to be you
Through the hopes in your happy life,
the light is slowly coming through
All that is taking is for love to show its best
And if I ever get it on with you,
then you lead the way


It’s enough to be with you, it’s enough to be there
I'm the words that you send or gave in through to me you get
Oh, what I do to come to talk with what you've got
And if it means singing back your mind,
then it never lost


#Oh, now and then I see myself for what I really am
  over here I keep discover on, then I got it in the can


But if it means that I ain’t gonna see you anymore
Take and shut up for a power,
stop to nail up all our doors
If I can be part of you, then I don’t have to leave
Cause other than the love of mine,
I’ve nothing else to give


#Oh, now and then I see myself for what I really am
  over here I keep discover on, then I got it in the can


And if one night I'm left alone with nothing else to do
I just sit at the the piano singing song that speak for you
Yes, I might get lonely and completely out of touch
But I’ll sacrifice my friends because I love you this much
I’ll just sacrifice my friends because I love you this much.....

**) This is an oldies song performed by Mouth & McNeal

Parental Influence in me

One day, a young friend asked me which parent that  influenced my life mostly. This is not a first time for me facing that such of question. Indeed, I always give it a serious thought in answering it every time.

Usually, I said that neither Mom or Dad gave any strong influence to me. I barely have any similarity in the way of thinking or seeing something. And although Mom has always been within my reach all my life, I'm not close enough to her to make it easier for me to interact with her.

I used to think that books and magazines had influenced my way of thinking and acting. Because since 10 years old, I've spent most of my learning time by reading. Learn about myself, about entering adolescent, about choices and consequences in life.

Today, I read this quote from a discussion in a website:

There are many ways that parents can influence their children.  I would say that these tend to fall into two categories -- children can choose to pattern themselves after what they see their parents do or they can choose to avoid being like their parents.

In large part, we as children are shaped by what we see our parents do and how we see them act.  I know that I have tried to model myself after my parents in many ways because I think they have done many things right.

On the other hand, there are things that I think they have done wrong and I consciously try to avoid doing those things.  But either way, the way I live my life has been influenced by them.

And.....whammmm!!!!....I realized that it had happened on me. Subconsciously, I had chosen to avoid being like my parents. I don't know how it had happened in the first place. Maybe the distance between my parents and I had made me turned to books and other references to look up for answers. But, not only I got the answers, I also got various information about seeing life. Maybe from those reference I could disagree to the way my parents handle things.

I guess it's right. More or less, my parents has helped me shaped my own life. Regardless I model myself after them, or try to avoid become them at all. And in all, books and parents played the same role in building myself as I am now.

Huh???

A long time ago....uff, okay, in my senior high school days (that's a very long time, truly!)...I had this tremendous crush toward a boy in my class. Although he never knew about my feeling (hopefully...hahahaha...because I really kept it secret), the crush went on till some time after we parted to continue our higher study.

This morning, I found his account in Facebook. Curious, I clicked it open....and I stared at his picture..... Where's the boy I fall in love with? I wondered to myself. Again and again I tried to match the face stared at me to my memory......and I am still wondering.

I guess it's true, that time and space would change our point of view. That what looked so wonderful before, would lost its charm when we looked back after some time went by. But, still a wondering thought keep appearing inside my mind......"Huh?????"

Breakaway

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

I love this soundtrack of "Princess Diary 2" since the first I heard last year. The song was so fit in with my feelings at the time. There I was, felt so trapped in a very stalled situation. Every where I looked at, I only saw a very tall and thick wall. Each night I wished that next morning would grant me an opening that allowed me to get away from the suffocating condition.

One day, when I expected less....there it was.....the door opened. Gingerly, I spread my wings, prepared to fly away. But I found the sun was so blinded into my eyes. The heat burnt my skin. Okay, I thought to myself, be patient.....this would happened to everyone, I just have to hang on and everything would be alright in time......

But the time went by...... the heat kept burnt through my skin, deeper and deeper. I felt my wings torn, and still I couldn't see through the blinded sun.... I got scared.... I slowed down.....thought everything over again.....reconsidered my option.....

And here I am now......back to the original place, surrounded by the tall wall, but hopefully not too thick. I've seen the outside world. And I know what's the best I should do in the future. I just hope that I will have the strength I need to reach that option. In the mean time, I'll just sing along with Kelly Clarkson and dream away......

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway


Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Blue Jasmine: My Namesake

I barely use my real name in surfing the cyberworld. My most reason is, so I could express myself more freely. Only a few people know the real name behind my ID. But, then that few people are my long time friend, the ones I also know in real world.

After changing name for a few years, I settled with Blue Jasmine as my ID. What kind of name is that? Is it because I'm working in a flower world? That's a couple of common question from my acquaintances.

Actually, I never knew there was really a flower called Blue Jasmine. I just combined the two words. Blue is my favourite colour. Jasmine is my favourite flower. And that combination sounded so romantic in my ears....hahahaha...

Then, later I found a novel in a thrift store. The title was Blue Jasmine, written by Violet Winspear. OMG!!!! There IS a flower called Blue Jasmine!!!! And....ehem....it's quite a romantic story, that novel....hehehehe....

Immediately, I searched for any picture of Blue Jasmine, but couldn't find the clear and good one at that time. And that's why I used a Blue Rose as my icon.....hehehe....

Tonight, I finally found a very pretty picture of Blue Jasmine. And starting from now, I'll use the new picture as my icon. Thank you for any person at www.eyefetch.com who had uploaded the nice and beautiful photo of the pretty flower!